10. I LOVE the tension through my neck and shoulders… it’s what holds my head up after another night of not sleeping!
9. The fog in my head that lasts till my second cup of coffee is all comfy-cozy… like one of those Snuggies they advertise on TV.
8. My stiff joints mean I can stay home and watch sports on the tube… I don’t actually have to DO them.
7. I’ve been breathing since birth, thank you very much… like I need to LEARN how!
6. Tranquility is over-rated. How would my kids possibly get anything done if I wasn’t yelling at them?
5. My extra body fat keeps me warm in winter.
4. I don’t do any heavy lifting… that’s why I have kids.
3. Stress gets me to work in the morning… without it, I don’t know that I’d be motivated to get out of bed.
2. Counting the days until my next poop is my new hobby.
1.5 There’s no bigger compliment than when people mistake me for my mother.
1. Do you think I’m even going to think of putting another dime in the pockets of those glorified pyjama jockeys?


april fools!
Oh my gosh! This is brilliant! I’m laughing so hard there are tears. This made my night.
THANK YOU!!