I knew yesterday as I tried to get into my own practice, that I was off in some way. Usually, once the music is on and I get through those first couple of relaxing forward bends and into Sun Salutations, I’m on my way and my body begins to take on a mind of its own. Yesterday afternoon… not so much.

So, last night was my third class. And the one where I felt least prepared. I had not put Filipes through the sequences at all this week and that is infinitely helpful in reinforcing my cueing.

I was lacking focus that afternoon and that carried forth into my getting ready for my class. It was clear the moment she walked through the door of our coffee shop-cum-yoga studio at 7:00, the reason for my lack of yogic centre. I had known there might be a possibility this neighbor and part-time yoga teacher, herself, might be in attendance. She had heard about our little Monday night gatherings- it’s a small place and despite my wanting to keep things ‘mum’ from the masses, in a community this size, it’s almost impossible.

Now, it’s not that I don’t like her, or that I want to make this some exclusive group. I’m just a new, inexperienced teacher- term used loosely- and I am not ready to introduce my teaching (inexperienced, not certified, etc) to a wider audience. Also, the idea of someone so much more experienced in teaching had me rather terrified of judgement and reproach, not to mention resentment and anger for infringing on our miniscule market when she conducts her own sessions for actual money… And there she was. I wish I had been more welcoming to her but I was completely freaked out… in my mind, but I am sure she felt the vibe.

Not surprising… I totally and completely underestimated her. While I will never really know what she thought of the class, she seemed happy to have been there, not responsible for leading the class. Open to a different and new experience with a new, oh-so-very new, teacher. I was crazy nervous and her presence for the first half of the class had me shaken and self-conscious, but all-in-all, after I managed to regain my equilibrium and confidence in my own knowledge and personal experience, not a bad class. I didn’t kick it like last week, but OK, considering.

Afterwards, she said I’d done a great job and that if ever I was interested in feedback or input, she would be happy to help out. Aaaaaahhhhhhh. Thank you, yes. I will certainly keep her in my circle of resources.

Hers is a different form of yoga but, as in the past, I will undoubtedly attend her 6 week session, beginning tonite. I want to keep communication and trust open with her as well as support her in her own budding business in our area. There’s certainly room for all and she was certainly of that mind when she showed up in my class.

Other helpful neighbor/participant has more ideas on where I can improve… even greater exercise in remaining open…

I had an interesting conversation with a mate from the class I’m teaching- using term oh-so-most loosely- where she brought to my attention the importance of modifications.  Not only modifications but perhaps a less than acute attention to detail in the postures.  Very nicely, of course.  This particular student of yoga is certainly the most knowledgeable of any of the participants, and is more likely than I towards due diligence in fleshing out the “perfect” posture.

I understand this, particularly from someone who is not partial to a “flow” and prefers to learn a pose, practice and refine it and “be” in, and with, that posture.  Developing a consciousness of the posture.  It is because of this approach to yoga that I listen to her.  I tend towards a focus on the movement as it is guided by the breath and the refinement of the posture may not be of priority.  And certainly as I find the “teacher” in me, trying to maintain the flow of the class, the details of each posture may get lost.

There is validity and benefit to both approaches.

So, thank you, fellow student.  I needed to have my attention drawn more into the details.  At this level of yoga practice for these others, if I don’t someone could, in fact, injure themselves.

I am pleased with this conversation partly because I learned something, but mainly because I returned her call “open” to learning something and accepting feedback.  Something, in a previous life, I would not have been.  I would have been caught up in my ego and my own right-ness and authority as “leader” or “teacher”.

The result.  An open relationship with neighbor and fellow student/teacher.  And, in her gratitude for my doing this, she is getting me a subscription to Yoga Journal.   Wow!

Open heart and mind…. there are many benefits.

The mind is everything; what you think, you become. ~Buddha

I was prepared to have a really good class. I knew I would have a good class.
I was tired. Not only had I put Filipes through the yogic paces, for over an hour, to work on my cueing, but I had had a pretty intense 40 minute practice earlier in the day. I probably won’t do that again, mind you. My work with Filipes is important to my prep the day of class… but my own practice should be saved for other days.

Anyways. Despite my fatigue and a little nervousness, I got into the groove pretty easily. It felt good. I felt good.

An hour and twenty minutes, including a ten minute Savasana. I also had three new ladies in attendance. Almost a full house! No, not really. But the extra bodies provided an added energy and despite my fear of leading a larger group, it actually helped make the class more dynamic and fun.

It appeared, this week, that everybody liked it. They aren’t a particularly demonstrative bunch, but from the sounds of the pleasantly worked out groans and sighs- smiles, too- everybody was satisfied. Plus, they will all be back next week.