I knew yesterday as I tried to get into my own practice, that I was off in some way. Usually, once the music is on and I get through those first couple of relaxing forward bends and into Sun Salutations, I’m on my way and my body begins to take on a mind of its own. Yesterday afternoon… not so much.
So, last night was my third class. And the one where I felt least prepared. I had not put Filipes through the sequences at all this week and that is infinitely helpful in reinforcing my cueing.
I was lacking focus that afternoon and that carried forth into my getting ready for my class. It was clear the moment she walked through the door of our coffee shop-cum-yoga studio at 7:00, the reason for my lack of yogic centre. I had known there might be a possibility this neighbor and part-time yoga teacher, herself, might be in attendance. She had heard about our little Monday night gatherings- it’s a small place and despite my wanting to keep things ‘mum’ from the masses, in a community this size, it’s almost impossible.
Now, it’s not that I don’t like her, or that I want to make this some exclusive group. I’m just a new, inexperienced teacher- term used loosely- and I am not ready to introduce my teaching (inexperienced, not certified, etc) to a wider audience. Also, the idea of someone so much more experienced in teaching had me rather terrified of judgement and reproach, not to mention resentment and anger for infringing on our miniscule market when she conducts her own sessions for actual money… And there she was. I wish I had been more welcoming to her but I was completely freaked out… in my mind, but I am sure she felt the vibe.
Not surprising… I totally and completely underestimated her. While I will never really know what she thought of the class, she seemed happy to have been there, not responsible for leading the class. Open to a different and new experience with a new, oh-so-very new, teacher. I was crazy nervous and her presence for the first half of the class had me shaken and self-conscious, but all-in-all, after I managed to regain my equilibrium and confidence in my own knowledge and personal experience, not a bad class. I didn’t kick it like last week, but OK, considering.
Afterwards, she said I’d done a great job and that if ever I was interested in feedback or input, she would be happy to help out. Aaaaaahhhhhhh. Thank you, yes. I will certainly keep her in my circle of resources.
Hers is a different form of yoga but, as in the past, I will undoubtedly attend her 6 week session, beginning tonite. I want to keep communication and trust open with her as well as support her in her own budding business in our area. There’s certainly room for all and she was certainly of that mind when she showed up in my class.
Other helpful neighbor/participant has more ideas on where I can improve… even greater exercise in remaining open…